So like I said, yesterday was muggy here ...very muggy...and so I took my shower before bed and was looking forward to getting some good zzz's. Boy was I wrong. I really struggled to fall asleep and then when I did i fell into a very bizare dream involving snow that wasn't snow, my cousin Tracey who in my dream worked in a green room - everything in the room was green - desk, chair, walls, garbage can, computer, filing cabinet, carpet, everything! and her boss looked like Madge Simpson only her neck wasn't a neck like we know them but instead it was about 4 feet long and made of KINNEX blocks and she could sit in her office and put her head into Traceys from around the corner and then when we found out that that snow wasn't snow we had to go to a grand assembly where the 'leader' searching for the secret "one" and we took him presents- mine was a Woody doll from Toy Story and turns out that I was the secret "one" and given magical powers. Then I woke up. I looked at the clock and realized I'd only been out for about an hour. Maybe.
So I got up to get a drink of water and I flipped on the light in the kitchen went to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle turned back around to the counter and saw something with 4 legs and a long tail scale the wall jump onto the toaster like he had suction cups on his feet and then he disappeared and i freaked out! I stood in the kitchen and yelled "DONALD JOHNSON THERE IS A LIZARRRRD IN MYYYY KITCHEN" and he came running in to see what the heck was going on. He moved the toaster and a little tiny tiny version of the one I'd seen came running out, jumped over a spoon that was sitting on the counter and made a beeline for the sink. At this point I'm practically hyperventilating and trying to convince Don that that was not the one I saw but an additional one. He's all lovely dovey coochi coo with it cause it was just a baby, couldn't be more than a few days old if that, it didnt' even have any color. So now, I'm standing in the dining room so i can make a quick get-a-way if needed but I didn't need to. I heard the water running and Don came out of the kitchen and told me the baby went down the drain and was gone.
I believed him.
I tossed and turned all night, or at least it felt like that's what I was doing so about 3:30 (normally get up at 4) I finally gave up and just got out of bed. I turned the light on in the kitchen before I actually went into the kitchen and thought the coast was clear and started the coffee pot, grabbed a towel from the bathroom and went back in to get my hair wet. As i found myself standing above the sink I saw it! This little bastard came flying out of nowhere - not exactly, it came up from the sink drain - and I freaked again but realized it was now about 3:40 am and I had to be quiet so I didn't wake Don or the neighbrs up. So now Im peeking over the edge of the sink and he's climbing up the side so I flipped on the water, grabbed and filled up my coffee and I tried to wash him down the drain...and what did he do? jumped to the other side of the sink. So I tried again and this time he jumped across to the other side and this time appeared to be coming out. So I grabbed a glass and a papertowel and tried to get the glass the over the top of him so I could slide the cup up the side and top it off with the papertowel wiht my intention being to release it outside. but the moved LOL and I dropped the glass and ran into the bedroom where I whispered Don's name until he *finally* answered and I explained my predictament and begged him for his help. He comes all butt as* naked into the kitchen pretending the light wasn't killing his eyes, took the cup sweeped the little bastard up, covered the top with a paper towel and actually tried to had it to me. FAT CHANCE! and he looked at me then down at himself and then at the lizard and then at me, so i grabbled the towel i had planned on using for my shower wrapped it around his waist and followed him to the front door holding the towel in place the whole way cause I wasn't about to take that glass from him, I opened the door leading out to the courtyard and held the towel a little tighter as he tried to get the lizard out of the glass. Finally he succeeded and we made it back into the house without any charges of indecent exposure. He rolled his eyes at me, handed me the glass and headed back to bed.
So you know how sometimes something in your subconscious comes out at the weirdest times? Well mine did that this morning and it stems from seeing advertisments for the new Final Destination moive and as I was waiting for about about 5 gallons of water to run down the drain just in case the lizard cousins were lying in wait and my subconscious kicked in and I had this vision of one of them climbing out of the drain as I have my head under the faucet, and either slimming itself into my mouth or into my sinus and me chocking on it or maybe getting into my ear and sucking my brain out and there I'd be stuck dead right there until the neighbors responded to the flood of water only that would make it even longer before someone found me because we live on the bottom floor so nobody would notice the water....so I shut the water off and used my spray bottle...I wasn't about to try the shower...it's got an even bigger drain!
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| Lizzzaaard in miiiiiii sink! |
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