The title of this post came in no particular order of importance but kind of summarizes this week. The first week that I've ever lived alone - well except when I was in Moses Lake on contract a while back but that didn't count because I actually still lived with my husband. This is really and truly the first time I've ever been alone. Does it scare me? hmmm, no not really it intrigues me more than anything to be honest. What happens if I don't like myself and my own company is my only real fear haha. That could suck but at least I'd win the shut up and leave me alone argument :)
My week started by coming home after the final "disagreement" to find that my husband had made the choice to leave our home. He cleaned out his drawers and the closet and too a few personal belongings. It didn't take me long to figure out what had happened because one of the first things I noticed missing was his grandfather's antique clock. Then I started looking around and discovered the empty drawers, void of his socks and underwear and clothing. Is it bad that I immediately thought of what I could fill those with? I'm sorry, some people are just not going to understand this, yes, my marriage just ended but the reality is it's been over for a long time and quite frankly, I don't have to explain this to you, but I will. I was ready for this to happen. I was prepared for it to happen. Am I glad it happened? well, not necessarily but honestly it's like a huge rock was lifted off my head and in some weird way, it's just been a relief.
So anyway, the drawers were empty, his half of the closet was nearly empty and I promise it is entirely empty now, well except my stuff that moved over there.
I noticed the lawn was starting to show some dry patches so I figured out the sprinkler program thingy and thought I had set them to go on at 4:00 with intention of be able to watch them to make sure they were all popping up right and doing their thing right. Well, I did set them to come on 4:00 only it was 4:00 AM not PM as I had originally intended. But not to worry because when Zone 3 kicked in the water was hitting the side of the house that my bedroom is on and I could hear this ...not sure how to describe it, it wasn't like a thump or anything but it was a noise out of the norm and as I woke up in my groggy state I was searching my brain trying to figure out what could make that noise and it dawned on me that it was the sprinklers, which really kind of ticked me off until I realized it was my fault. My fault, not someone else's but my very own fault. There's something empowering about that, there really is and I can't explain it. So realizing it was the sprinklers and knowing I was not going back to sleep, I got up and got dressed and went out to watch them. I noticed as I headed out the front door that the road was wet which meant a sprinkler was off and it was probably the evil waiting to go to prison child that lives in the house behind mines fault because he catches the bus in front of my house for school and if I've told him I told him a 1000 times not to walk in my yard! well later I discovered the sprinkler was working fine it just had been set for turbo spray distance so I managed to adjust that with my handy sprinkler tool...who knew right? and got it set to hit just the grass and not the street. Educational opportunities are going to be plentiful around here in the future I'm sure. Yay. So anyway, the sprinklers are working fine, they're set to start at 4am in the back yard and by the time they hit my bedroom I'll be up anyway and getting ready to head out the door for work. I was really glad things that went bump in the night were just streams of water hitting the house...I'm not afraid of water and honestly I'm not really afraid of anything. I thought sleeping by myself would be a challenge but I've found that if I stay active enough during the day I don't have any problem sleeping at night. And if it were to have been something bigger, like say a robber, well, not much I could have done about it and whatever would happen would happen regardless of what I did or didn't do right? right.
Food and eating have been somewhat of a challenge for me this week. First of all the week before Don left his parents had come to visit us and I'd made a slew of freezer meals to make the whole dinner thing flow more smooth. Some really great dishes were in the freezer and while I thought about what I was going to have during the day it kept hitting me that those dishes were prepared in servings of 8-10 and there was no way I'd eat that much in leftovers so I'd leave whatever it was that sounded good that day in the freezer and end up having things like cheerios, popcorn, and one night as much as i hate to admit it I actually had chocolate ice cream for dinner. I sold our deep freeze (conveniently to Don's sister and her husband and I just sent those pans of mondo dinners home with them) and wasn't about to give up my ice cream but also didn't have room in the fridge freezer so one to not waste anything (grin) I dished it up and ate it for dinner. It wasn't very sustaining but it was just delicious and since I hadn't really eaten anything all day it fit well within my daily calorie counts. (Seriously? I can justify just about anything in life if I set my mind to it! LOL). One night I did have subway so there's a good meal right? I liked that I wasn't having to rush home and cook dinner and get everything done so i could have some me time...popcorn and cheerios and ice cream for dinner? Tell me anything in this world that says "ALL ABOUT ME" louder than that will ya? So this week I'm focusing on how to cook for one. Some say it's a lonely number but really its not yet proven to be true for me. The single chicken breast I took out for dinner looked a little lonely this afternoon but no worries, his friends steamed broccoli and squash will keep him company. I'm still enjoying the heck out of my healthy chocolate shakes for breakfast and while I had quit consuming them at lunch for awhile I did implement that meal back into my day because I found without it I was craving crap like chips (chocolate ice cream is not crap so don't go there) and cookies and rolls slathered in butter and I've been able to get rid of those cravings and I've lost 6 pounds this week...must be the fiber from the whole grain cheerios lol.
So that kind of wraps up my week. I'm looking forward to seeing what this next one has in store. Feels good to blog again. In case you're wondering, I closed my last blog because I was finding that I was using it as a self - controlled sounding board, I was just sitting down in front of this computer and just simply typing anything and everything and looking back on those posts I realized that's not where I want to be. I don't want to be wallowing in the negative because life is about choices and choices have been made this last week that allow me to chose to focus on the positives and if there are negatives involved? they're my negatives and nobody else's...there goes that empowering thing again.
Have a great week everyone and thanks for reading. Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter of "cooking for one" and leaving dishes in the dishwasher for a week before washing them because it took me that long to fill it up.
taaataaa!
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